Because of my last failed transfer, my Dr wanted to run some tests. Not just any tests, pretty aggressive tests to figure out what's going on in my uterus so that I don't lose another perfectly good embryo. So here we go, fingers crossed we find something, not anything serious but something fixable so I can have some peace of mind. Anyone else sometimes secretly want there to be SOMETHING wrong (again not severe) but enough to have the "A HA!" moment? Well this is my case, the constant game of hoping things work out is so draining that I just want to have a reason as to why. (and yes I know even on perfectly healthy and naturally conceived pregnancies things can go wrong, but right now just talking about this whole question mark going on in my brain).
MY HYSTEROSCOPY EXPERIENCE
If you've never had a hysteroscopy let me tell you – opt for the drugs! I think this is the most painful procedure that I've had to do in these two years simply because you're awake when they're looking around your uterus and scraping it to take a biopsy. This was my second one. My first doctor at fertility center #1 never even mentioned it! At fertility center #2, this was the first order of business before starting any protocol. That was a year ago. The up side of this exam is that it increases pregnancy chances about 20%! That information alone made me not even think twice about doing it again (and the embryo that stuck last December was the one that followed this exam). So here I went again, this time it's October, almost a year after my successful transfer.
I took a Lyft to fertility center #2 and the nurse gave me a pill immediately upon arriving to make me relax. Nick came in right after that since I wouldn't be able to drive myself home. The nurse walked back into the room we were in holding a syringe.
"What side do you prefer (on my upper buttocks),” she asked. That made me laugh, as if I had any sensation left back there, so I told her to pick a side.
Two minutes later the room was moving; the small dose of whatever they gave me had kicked in. Exam time!
The doctor said everything looked good except that the biopsy had a lot of blood which might mean inflammation. We had to wait five days for the results. To be honest, I don't remember much after that but I think we had a nice drive home. Thank goodness for good mom friends that can help pick up my girls from school! This journey has definitely made me realize that the saying "it takes a village" is so true.
One test done, for now.
MY MRI EXPERIENCE
"What brings you in to get an MRI?"
Umm my doctor wants me to, and also REALLY? I don't remember having to tell the radiologist my problems, but here we go.
"I don't get my period unless I'm on birth control," I shared.
"Since when?" she asked.
"Ever since I started the pills..."
This is my life now, sharing the most private things about myself with complete strangers because I think they need the information... but did she really need this? She proceeded to tell me she doesn't get her period either for other reasons (assuming menopause) which didn't make me feel any less uncomfortable.
Anyway, I put my things in a locker to prepare for the MRI. I didn't have to change my pants because I knew not to wear anything with metal, so my joggers did the trick (as if I ever wear jeans during the week, but I'll pretend I wore comfy pants just for this momentous occasion). I went into the room with the huge machine, lied on the skinny long bed, and asked for country music on my headphones. The IV went in my right arm and into the machine I went.
I wasn't expecting to be fully inside the tube but there I was. I didn't get a Valium today. All the same banging noises and loud construction like noises began, the music quickly faded away. Why did I even have a choice in music? I think I maybe heard ten seconds of music during the entire 40 minutes of the scan. But over time the loud noises drifted away and surprisingly I dozed off. I didn't fall asleep but you know that calm state before you fall asleep and after you've settled in to a calm space? That one.
I think my body gets tired much more quickly these days. I've always had so much energy, I could sleep for five hours and be good to go the next day! I'm not sure if it's from all the medications taking a toll on my body. Maybe age? Or possibly it's from all of the energy thinking about every step of IVF day in and day out takes from me, (injections, appointments, pills or tests) and the rollercoaster of emotions that are gifted to me. Whatever it is, my body just feels different now. So in other words laying there was a bonus!
I opened my eyes as the bed moved out from under the tube (I'm sure there's a name for this tube thing). A different radiologist was there now to take my IV out. I had to pee but I was also told to drink A LOT of water. Apparently the solution they put in the IV and now running through my blood was not best for my kidneys, even though a minute ago he then said that whatever this solution running through my blood was not harmful; that was obviously confusing. I just really had to pee so I didn't ask anything else. Then I got a CD of all the images to personally take to my doctor (which I did right away!). I did drink a lot more water than normal since I was a little worried, which made me have to pee a lot more too, which was annoying.
For now, tests are complete though, and it feels like its one step closer to our baby. I smile with that in mind. You have to take all the little ups IVF gives you. I’ve learned its the only way to keep going forward.